Fancy Pants Ranch Freeze Out

Yesterday the kids and I woke up and discovered that the furnace at Fancy Pants Ranch was out of commission. It was 58 degrees inside, which is approximately 15 degrees below my narrow comfort zone.

And of course, Ever Patient Spouse – who is a mechanical engineer and can solve just about any problem – was out of town.

My order of business went like this:

  1. Crank up thermostat to 80 degrees and see if it would magically kick in. Fail.
  2. Go into scary basement, locate furnace, do not see anything obviously flashing “Push here to be warm,” etc. Go back upstairs.
  3. Turn off furnace. Wait 5 minutes. Turn back on. No dice.
  4. Text spouse in panic.
  5. Call 3 heating companies before one answers on a Saturday morning.
  6. Wait for repair person. Browse internet for travel deals to Hawaii.
  7. Drink 3 cups of coffee. Park kids in front of fire. Stay warm-ish.
  8. Repair man arrives. Checks furnace. Goes outside. Discovers large icicle blocking some vent or another. Knocks away icicle.
  9. Pay $141 for icicle knocking.
  10. Order these to wear next time an event like this occurs:

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P.S. The Lole vest is from here and the hat and gloves are from C. Wonder.

P.P.S. Trixie was very concerned that the repair man was here. Her words (urgently whispered):

“Mom, Mom, Mom! Come down here. I just need to whisper this is your ear and don’t say anything. Mom! Is that man going to live with us until Dad gets home?”

Me: No.

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