Happy Mother’s Day 2014

Happy Mom’s Day!

I often joke and call myself the Mother of the Year, always in a tongue-in-cheek way, particularly since I am typically reminded by my children on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis that I am, in fact, The Worst Mother in the World.

Sample conversation from last week:

(Scene: Chaotic morning that began nearly two hours earlier at Fancy Pants Ranch, two children with unbrushed hair and teeth, half-dressed Adult Female, and T Minus 25 minutes before Said Adult Female is due in the OR in full surgical attire to begin the day).

Me (already sweaty): Kids! Come on! We have to get going, NOW!

Trixie (5, who has been lounging on the floor for over 20 precious minutes): I can’t walk.

Me: Yes, you can. I know for a fact that you can walk.

Trixie: I’m glued to the floor.

Me (pulling her up): There. Now you’re free. Brush your teeth.

Trixie: (Collapses back to floor)

Me: Get up! We are already so late. Let’s go.

Trixie: I’m stuck. And I hate these socks. They’re too small. Get me new ones and put them on my feet.

Me: PUT ON YOUR SOCKS, GET GOING, AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH NOW! (This repeats a few times. FYI, the socks are fine and she is more than capable of putting them on)

Trixie: You’re hurting my feelings.

Trixie: You’re shouting at me.

Trixie: That means you don’t love me.

Trixie: You’re kicking me out of the family.

Trixie: Now I don’t have a family.

Trixie: Now I don’t have a place to live.

Trixie: That means you hate me.


Trixie: (Copious alligator tears and fake wailing, interrupted by fits of laughter when her brother farted a minute later, then caterwauling resumed).

Ahhh, there you have it. Proof that I am, indeed, the Worst Mom Ever.

She has certainly inherited the Drama Gene, which I think has skipped a generation as I am not similarly afflicted.

I’ve joked about it in the past, but usually for Mother’s Day, I ask for what I really want: to be left alone.

The title of this book summarizes my sentiments well:


This 2009 movie looks pretty terrible (It cost an estimated $5 Million to make and grossed less than $100k, including an opening weekend in the UK where less than a dozen tickets were sold. Uma Thurman, where did you go so wrong?), but there is a quote from the movie that I stumbled upon while researching this post that seemed relevant.

First, the movie:



Now the quote, taken from an essay on motherhood written by the main character:

 Motherhood is about accepting the limitations of time and energy which stretch beyond you, even though sometimes it feels they can consume you. Search for and hold on to your own true self. If you lose that, what kind of mother can you be? Things are always changing no matter how much we might want things to stay the same. You could take a picture of your kids every single day and every single day they’d just be getting older. That’s a fact, a heartbreaking fact, but still a fact.

So, seize your days and dwell in them fully. Look to your children because they know how to inhabit brief periods of time with extreme passion. And for nothing more, really, than the sake of those moments. They can help you remember that, if you only slow down and let them. Feel fortunate because chances are good you actually might be.

My Mother’s Day wish for myself to is remember this. Always.

P.S. And then there’s this:



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