Yesterday – Father’s Day – I was feeling a little Rodney Dangerfield-esque.

A popular Mother’s or Father’s Day gift among the elementary school set this year seemed to be a “Mad Libs”-style Q&A.

Trixie’s (5) class did them for both holidays.

A sample from her Mother’s Day project:

My Mother is: 61 years old

She likes to: Lay in bed and watch TV

She likes to eat: Stinky cooked vegetables

She cooks: Macaroni and cheese because it’s easy

And from Father’s Day:

My Father is: 41 years old [He’s 42!!!!!]

He likes to: Go running

My Dad says: “You are a nice girl.”

I like to: Eat ice cream with my dad.

My dad’s favorite thing is: Me and my brother, oh, and mom [!!!!]

I love when my Dad: Takes the whole family on vacation

So, let’s just get this straight: Apparently Ever Patient Spouse is some type of Adonis male model (he’s older than I am, geez!) and Olympic athlete who is full of praise for the children, sunshine, rainbows, ice cream and endless trips to Disneyland, whereas I am a geriatric shut-in who watches her stories on TV all day, pausing only to wipe the barbecue sauce onto her sweatpants.

P.S. I feel obligated to say that we only have one TV, and it is definitely not in my bedroom. Come on, kids!