Loss of control. 

Loss of dignity.

Fear.

Uncertainty.

Vulnerability. 

Being a patient can be excruciating.

Today it is my turn. 

Last month I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Today I will undergo a bilateral mastectomy and hopefully begin the reconstruction and healing process.

I am not even close to a point of accepting this in a way that I see it as a lesson or gift, but I am here to learn.

What I am also ready to experience as a patient:

Perspective. 

Patience.

Understanding.

Grace.

Hope. 

If you are the type, I would welcome your best thoughts and prayers. 

P.S. The picture above is one I deliberately took before I learned of my cancer diagnosis. I knew the biopsy results would arrive that day, and I wanted to capture a moment that would embody Before, because I knew if the results came back as malignant, everything would be divided into Before and After. This was Before. Now is After.