The Time I Scared Them Away

Can there be cancer humor? I think so.

Picture this: I was home last week, resting and recovering from my bilateral mastectomy, watching the Hallmark Channel like nobody’s business, when I heard someone at the front door.

I thought it was our dog walker, and I jumped up to unlock the door lest she have to wrestle to get the key out of the lockbox.

Turns out, it was two twenty-something, incredibly earnest young women on my doorstep.

Earnest Woman (EW) #1: “Good morning. We are missionaries visiting all the families in this area because we are concerned about the state of the world and our future.”

EW #2, stepping forward: “Are you concerned about your future?”

Me (with enthusiasm): “Yes! I am home today recovering from major surgery for cancer, and you can believe I am EXTREMELY CONCERNED about my future.”

This was definitely not on script for these two.

Their eyes widened. Their nostrils flared.

EW #1 (very flustered): “Oh my god, oh my god, I am so sorry. This is obviously not a good time. We will leave.”

(Both hastily retreating.)

Me: “You can pray for me if you want.”

EW #2 (weakly): “We will.”

So, to sum it up: my situation is so awful that I scared away door-to-door missionaries.

But I wouldn’t mind it if they followed through on those prayers.