Chapped Lips

Lip balms have been mysteriously disappearing around Fancy Pants Ranch as of late.

I suspect the timing and events are largely due to MGM’s recent discovery that mint-favored Chapstick is both therapeutic and delicious. I went to use one of the lonely remaining ones on my nightstand the other day, and there were definitely some bites taken out of the stick. Ick.

Trixie has a fairly large stash of Lip Smackers – one of my all-time faves, even now – but no one can ever seem to locate one when they’re needed.

Hands down, I think Aveda Lip Saver is the best lip balm on the market. The texture is just right – not too sticky or waxy – and a thick layer will stay on all night while you slumber. It’s $8.50 a pop, so definitely not a Chapstick-level bargain, but I think the quality is worth the price.


However, Naturopathica’s Honey Vanilla lip balm is close contender:


For the price, it’s hard to beat Yes to Carrot’s lip balms in grapefruit, pomegranate or blueberry. Regular price is only $2.99 but their website has them listed for less than $2. Worth stocking up if your kids use them as snacks like mine do.


On the other end of the price spectrum is Aerin’s Rose Lip Conditioner. At $28, you really need to hide this one from the kiddos. It definitely feels luxurious, though.


Want to try your hand at making your own lip balm? Here’s a guide.

P.S. I spent waaaay too much time on the Lip Smackers site while researching this post. It’s awesome!

Clown Face

This time of year, magazines and style websites everywhere seem to give the same boring advice when it comes to glamming it up for holiday parties and such.

Sparkly earrings! A sequined clutch! A bright red lip!

Ok, a few thoughts:

One, I usually don’t dig getting realllly dressed up in the middle of the freezing Minnesota winter. It totally goes against my grain to consider wearing something like a halter top and strappy heels under a knee-length down parka, a scarf (or two), a hat and mittens – because sometimes all of your fingers need to huddle together when it’s too cold for gloves.

Even if you can relatively strip down at the event, there’s bound to be a gust of arctic air that causes goosebumps from time to time and let’s also be honest: exposing pasty, dry winter skin (or orange fake baked skin, even worse) to the whole world is just impolite.

Second, getting dressed for formal events just feels like Grown Up Prom. No thanks.

And finally, no matter how many times I’ve tried, I cannot do a bright lip. Especially red, a color I don’t like in the first place. Hot pink? Yes, I love hot pink. And I really want to love a hot pink lip, and trust me, I’ve tried.

And failed.

The most recent experiment was “Happy Ending (#116)” by Marc Jacobs:


Thank god I had the good sense to try it on at Sephora instead of plunking down $30 for something that would have quickly hit the trash can once I got home.

It’s just that every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the store mirror, I felt like a clown. A clown with whorish fuchsia lips.

So I’ll stick to gloss. I love lip gloss! And I have a sickening amount. As a resident, I was notorious for having 8 or so glosses stashed in my white coat at any given time. Stethoscope? Nope, sorry, I’ll have to borrow yours. Gloss? Check! Stat!

I’ll do separate post about my gloss affair in the future, but suffice it to say, my heart belongs to Bobbi Brown here, too. She makes so many great colors that it’s hard to pick a favorite, but right now “Pink Tulle” is it:


“Pink Tulle” High Shimmer Gloss from Bobbi Brown

The photo doesn’t do the color justice. It’s subtle and would look great on anyone. Even over bright lipstick!